


Day #14 - Dear God (Song)

by Accal1a



Series: October Nickels Insanity (2019) [14]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux, Sidewinder Series - Abigail Roux
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2021-01-08 06:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21231239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: Kelly bulids his cabin, and thinks about what he's just lost.





	Day #14 - Dear God (Song)

**Author's Note:**

> I blame [astudyinfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic). Go read _her_ October insanity [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849234/chapters/49560635).
> 
> [mindfluff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindfluff) decided to join in on the madness too. Their fics start [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20853593#work_endnotes).

_A lonely road, crossed another cold state line _

_Miles away from those I love purpose undefined _

_While I recall all the words you spoke to me _

_Can't help but wish that I was there _

_And where I'd love to be, oh yeah_ ([Full Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzX0rhF8buo)) 

Kelly watched as the lumber was delivered to his yard, nodded at the workman who had dropped it off and watched the truck disappear down the dusty road away from his clearing. _His_ clearing. This plot of land was his.

He stared at the tent that he would be staying in whilst he was building the cabin, ignoring the snide voice in the back of his head telling him that this was the only tent he'd be sleeping in from now on. There would be no canvas and sand, no ropes and shale, there would be no people shouting outside the thing, no people laughing inside with him. It was just him and the pines he loved so much.

Just him. Alone.

~~~

The cabin took shape over the weeks, and after a time the tent wasn't needed, he could have moved into the first room he completed, and then the second. The kitchen took shape, and the bathroom, moving on the living room, and yet still he remained, camped outside, yearning for a time that was full of blood and death and yet still wanting to be back there regardless…and how fucked up was that? He wanted to be in mortal danger and with his brothers, than safe and alone.

~~~

The winter forced him inside, at which point he had no idea what the day even was let alone the date. He had a wild idea that he would just become a wilderness man, living off the land, occasionally going to get gas or other staples he couldn't harvest, ignoring the newspapers and the date, just existing.

~~~

One day, Kelly heard a truck coming down his driveway. He had no idea who it could be, probably someone who was lost ,no-one ever came down here, he wasn't even sure anyone knew he'd built a cabin here…except for his brothers, who he missed like a phantom limb after an amputation. It was a very definite presence of nothing where something should be, something vital.

When Nick jumped out of the vehicle and came towards him, he blinked several times, momentarily unsure whether or not it was a mirage of some kind, or whether he'd willed him into existence just from heartache.

"Kels! Why haven't you been answering your phone?"

Kelly looked dumbly at Nick, unable to parse the words for a second. "What?"

His voice had come out as a croak. Jesus when was the last time he'd even spoke out loud? He couldn't even remember.

"Your phone," Nick said patiently, coming to stand at the bottom of the steps that Kelly had been sitting on, staring into nothingness, "you've not been answering it."

Kelly tried to remember the last time he had charged his phone, the last time he had even known where it was. He vaguely remembered putting it in a drawer somewhere…or was it in a toolbox…or did it end up in the forest? He didn't know, all he knew was that when he had left it there he had thought "I won't be needing this again"…because who was going to call him? Who did he have in the world now?

"I…it's…" Kelly waved vaguely in the direction of the cabin.

Nick, who seemed at times to have a perception that was bordering on clairvoyance, saw through the lines on what Kelly was saying. He understood what that meant, and he walked up a step and put his arm out for Kelly to reach up and clasp it to stand. Once up he pulled him into a hug.

Kelly didn't understand why Nick was here, how he could even bear to look at him, but he selfishly took the support anyway, even knowing it would be that much worse when Nick left again.

At least his friend was here. For now.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and visit the [Cut & Run Discord Server](https://discord.gg/vvy6c76) and join us as we discuss/scream about this awesome series.
> 
> ~~~
> 
> Fancy joining a multi-fandom Discord server where you can <s>squee with</s> chat with like minded people? Have I got the place for you!
> 
> Come and join **The Fandom Playhouse**. You don't have to be mad to [join](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD), but it does help...


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